Caren Gussoff writer. geek. bon vivant. dot com

So. I’m starting a novel. I am of two minds about it:

• One, I’m really, really excited. The novel concept grew organically from the last short story I completed, mostly because I fell in love with the characters and became pretty convinced that the concept and world could be a bigger one than I was able to capture within the confines of the short story. There are definite advantages to working on a novel as well—novels are, realistically, the best  (although far from guaranteed, as evidenced by my own first novel as well as the experiences of countless other novelists) way to be able to make a living writing. Also, I really, really hate starting new stories—a personal quirk of mine, becoming a fiery ball of intolerable anxiety as I struggle to find an entry point into my next idea (if I have a next idea, that is).
• Two, I am absolutely dreading being ensconced in a novel. It’s like being in a new relationship. You need to be able to enjoy the honeymoon period while remaining somewhat clearheaded about the fact that it is a long-term commitment that will have ups and downs (and as many of one as the other). It’s also a time gamble, which frightens me to a certain extent—what if I dedicate two years to this project, forsaking other projects along the way—and it sucks? I mean, that sounds truly lame to say, but it’s a very real worry—not that there aren’t things to learn from a failed project, but because it’s a deliberate choice that regardless of the outcome, I must take responsibility for, good or bad.

I think I will continue to write short stories*. I am a short story writer, primarily, always have been, probably always will be. But here—I have smashed the bottle of champagne over my own head to christen the journey. My blog: now with 100% more novel bitching!

*in fact, got two pieces of awesome short story news this week. My very scary entry into the Worst Possible Cover Letter Rant Contest at Poor Mojo’s Almanac(k) took first place and will be published in the Fall. And, my SF story, “Games,” will be in Z.S. Adani and Eric T. Reynolds’ Destination: Future anthology. More details soon.

Hey! Listen to Maggie Croft read all three winning stories from the Fantasy Magazine  micro fiction contest for Podcastle. I’m the second place winner.

I love it.

Really? It’s been 26 days since I updated? I am ashamed of myself.

Here. Go read a new story of mine up at Abyss & Apex while I try and construct a post worthy of forgiveness.

And if you get done with that, you should check out this week’s verbal treat from Brain Harvest.

1. Thank you to all who read and voted in the Fantasy Magazine Micro-Fiction contest. My short piece, “The Ghost of Henry’s Past” won second place. There’s going to be a podcast of it sometime in the future, courtsey of PodCastle. Nice!
2. I have succumbed to being 36, constantly broke, and needing to geek the fuck out on new things by starting a garden on my patio. I now have 2 coffee cans and a long box filled with 2 breeds of lavender, basil, oregano, and mint, as well as one small cherry tomato plant (already fruiting).  I have dill and garlic coming up from seed/clove, bell pepper seeds drying for cultivating,  and two mega tomato plants coming in mail (gift from my dad, who wants to be kept in tomatoes).
I also started a freaking compost pile. I made a bin from an old, clean kitty litter container. Compost! But I am seriously super excited about the chemistry of it all, so I feel less like a weirdo, although I’ve been reading way too many articles about Freegans to count my weirdo-ness completely out.
3. Drunk text of the month: from my pal, Maggie, who informed me that she and Chris R. were discussing the size of my boobs in the company of Nick Mamatas, and decided that they were approximately the same size as his head. I found this text as awesome as I did alarming.

My natural impatience is showing, these days, like a slip I just can’t keep from sliding down. I feel like the universe set me and mine on some sort of divergent path last year, in fact, right about this time–beginning with the apartment fire (still traumatized), then Clarion West (the summer heat is making me wistful for my comrades), then the drunk driver totaling our car, then personal stuff with Chris, then unemployment, then continued unemployment, then, then, then. It’s been an intense learning experience, as times of extended crisis should be, and I feel like we are getting close to the end of it, to a new beginning. But we aren’t there yet and it’s stressing me right the fuck out.

So, please excuse my occasional bouts of radio silence. It’s better for us all, otherwise you’d have to read pages and pages of me agonizing over why.things.don’t.move.faster.because.I.want.them.to and other assorted control issues and irritations.

In other news, and there’s a bunch:
1. My short-short-short, “The Ghost of Henry’s Past” is a finalist in Fantasy Magazine‘s May Madness Micro-Fiction Contest. Winner is by reader poll, so I would sure love it if you would go read it, and if you like it, vote for me (and 2 other favorites here). Go on. I’ll sit here while you do.
2. There’s a lot going on at Brain Harvest. If you haven’t read this week’s story, “Snake Eyes,” by Kevin Bishop, go now. I’ll wait again.
You should also vote (more democracy in action!) to choose which story, published in May, will be read by our voice talent for our first ever mini-podcast.
And! Visit the site tomorrow to get all the details on Brain Harvest’s first ever fiction contest. Cash prizes! Celebrity judge! Fame, fortune, adulation, envy!
3. Finally, I sure would love it if you rifled beneath your couch cushions and sponsored me as a writer in the 2009 Clarion West Writeathon. The money goes to keeping the workshop alive, as well as to pay instructors, help students with scholarships, and all kinds of really good causes. I’ve pledged to write a new story each week of the workshop, and to send a special “e-book” of all the raw, ugly, unfinished drafts to all who sponsor me (so be sure and email me and let me know you’ve sponsored).

…and available as a single issue PDF, part of a very reasonable sub, and for Mobi and Kindle. One of my stories, “As They get Warmer, They Give A Little” is included, along with “…84 pages and over sixty thousand words of amazement. ”

I’m really excited about this. It’s a great issue, Chris Fletcher is a great editor, and my TOC-mates are really impressive (and my first post-CW pub to come out, to boot.

1. I had a good writing week last week. Not because I actually got anything done, but because Abyss & Apex grabbed my first post-CW story, “Section III” for their 4th quarter issue. There was a jubilant underwear dance attached to that.
2. Secondly, people have been so freaking generous advertising Brain Harvest‘s fundraising drive. We owe a giant debt of gratitude to Tor.com and Io9, among many others, for helping us get the word out.
3. Still looking for honest day labor. Last year, I wrote a post that, at the time, felt completely accurate about the multitude of ways one could cobble together a bad-but-decent living while writing. I’m not sure it still is, or when it will be again. Both Chris and I have had a really hard time finding long term or full time work. I have an informational interview soon, though, with a great local company, so I am hoping that may sometime turn into something.
4. Piggybacking on #4, I’ve decided I need a skill. An actual skill. One that is transferrable, in demand, that sort of thing. So, WA state is still offering worker retraining and I am going to take advantage of it while I can. Starting this summer, I am going to take a weekend program for the quarter so I can get a phlebotomy certificate. I thought long and hard about doing programming instead, or possibly paralegal studies, but decided on entry level healthcare–and I’d much rather poke veins and deal with lab samples than anything else right now (it feels like science!). I’ve been seeing long, sobby posts online from phlebotomists who haven’t been able to find work either, but I’m going to try and do some additional work  to make myself extra-hirable–start volunteering at the blood bank asap, get as many certifications from the Red Cross as are appropriate, and whatnot. Maybe between writing, contracts, and phlebotomy, I can, oh, pay some bills–maybe even have some fun (holy crap!).
5. Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday, so I am taking him to see Star Trek. I am both very excited to see this, and completely dreading it. The trailers make it seem like a WB show in space. But, dude, it’s Star Trek. At one point, I would say, dude, it’s JJ Abrams…still a giganormous Lost fan, but now, you know, Fringe (*sigh*).
Anyway, I made Chris some presents and got him a small bottle of that man-cologne he loves so well.  I may try and do up an ice cream cake, too. I hope he likes it. He deserves like, oh, a hundred treats.

BONUS: A huge yipee for Mary Rosenblum for being nominated for a Sidewise Award (for great works of alternate history), BTW.

Bang, whimper (aside from the book sale and the marvelous news that one of my CW fairy tales will be appearing in Cabinet des Fées). I started two different stories and have since trashed both of them.

My subsconcious feels squeezed empty of all things interesting, meaningful, or vaguely worthy of exploiting. So, I am being very quiet and trying to feed my subconscious and reread good writing advice so I can begin May in full frontal fashion.

In that spirit: someone from Codex posted a link to Twelve Blunders: How Aspiring Writers Get It Wrong , written by Jack McDevitt. It’s really awesome advice and not just applicable to aspiring writers.  Go click it now. There’s only 2 days left until May. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

1. Off to the Friends of the Seattle Public Library book sale (it’s 1/2 off day on already cheap used books. JOY) and then to my crit group filled with smarty-pants. 

2. Brain Harvest has its newest story up, a crawly piece by the uber-talented Jeremy Shipp.

3. Yes, I completely threw away 5000 words of the story I’ve been working on. Painful. But this is why I said what I did in my posting about slush (reiterated by the very talented and dashing D. Zumsteg, who, in unrelated news, is next week’s Brain Harvest pick). Now, hopefully, the little crazy Jewish lady who runs my subconscious* will get cracking on helping me right all the wrongs that spewed onto the page the first time.

*CW ’08 in-joke. Apologies.

I’m a big old sack of angst lately. That’s my only excuse for remissive blog posting. There’s plenty of awesomeness going on, however, so I am going to force myself to type words about that:

1. I had a story accepted at M-BRANE SF for issue 5. I am really excited about that. It’s the second story I wrote at Clarion West to find a home—this one is the one I wrote for Cory Doctorow’s week, and it is appropriately geeky. Plus, I think Chris, the editor of M-BRANE, has been doing a great job with other stories, and I’m proud to be in the roster now.
2. I found out I am entirely susceptive to self-coercion. I handed my keys to my husband and told him not to let me back in the house until I wrote 1000 words. I sat at my new favorite coffee shop and wrote 1004 words, some of which don’t suck too badly.
3. Brain Harvest is going really well. We’ve been publishing some great stuff, and this week’s selection is from one of my favorites (in person and on paper), Cat Rambo. I’m also thrilled that we’ve been doing a lot of buying out of the slushpile as well, including an excellent one slated for next month sometime by yet another CW alum and crit group colleague, Derek Zumsteg.
4. Also, check out my first book review for Brain Harvest, on Eraserhead Press’ first foray into Bizarro children’s lit.
5. Sunday, bunches of the cast of ST: TNG are guest starring on Family Guy. I have never been so excited for a Family Guy, and I really love Family Guy.
6. The Seattle Public Library used book sale is April 18 and 19 at Magnuson Park. I love the book sale, and this is the first year I have managed to write down the dates so it doesn’t sneak up on me, as it usually does.
7. I have a presentation and reading this Friday evening, the 27th, at Hugo House as part of my graduation ceremony from the first ever Artist Trust EDGE Professional Development Program for Writers.  It’s 7 – 9:30 p.m.at Hugo House, 1634 11th Avenue, Seattle, WA 98122
8. Nancy Kress is also reading at Hugo House as part of the Fantastic Fiction Salons. Monday the 30th, 7pm, 5 bucks. I am really thrilled. I love Nancy Kress, for many reasons—including that I believe she is one of the few non-Rom to use Rom characters in her stories and get it right. I hope I get to babble all verklempt and fangirl-y at her afterward.